this time
by jade isabelle
Summary: he wants to come back, but knows he can't. he knows Kurt doesn't trust him anymore.


**A/N: for the sake of this story, Kurt and Blaine have been dating a bit longer than is canon at the time of the break-up and it takes place around the time of Blaine's graduation.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

I

he leaves the door open on his way out and Kurt watches him leave.

II

he wants to come back, but knows he can't.

he knows Kurt doesn't trust him anymore.

III

Kurt lays in bed alone, the night after.

it doesn't feel the same without him.

IV

he sleeps uneasily that night, his thoughts muddled.

he tries not to think about Blaine.

V

one day after—

VI

Kurt opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling.

it takes a minute for him to remember.

VII

the apartment is quiet and Kurt can't help but wonder how it would be different if Blaine hadn't cheated.

VIII

he thinks back to the day they met.

he thinks about the way it felt to be saved, to feel entirely safe with someone.

IX

he tries to gather up the courage to call Blaine, but hangs up as the phone rings for a second time.

he thinks there's no way this could be happening to him.

X

they used to talk about clichés.

how Blaine was Kurt's Prince Charming, how everything changed when they came into each other's lives.

how they just worked.

XI

they had talked about the day they would get married.

how they would dance in each other's arms and spend the rest of their lives there.

XII

he remembers the day Blaine mentioned moving to New York to be with him.

it hadn't been too long ago, but Kurt had felt like his heart would burst.

XIII

they had worn their hearts on their sleeves, and maybe that was what Kurt liked best about Blaine.

they had told each other everything.

XIV

there was a tree down in Central Park.

two sets of initials had been carved into its trunk on their two year anniversary.

XV

eleven days after—

XVI

the first few days are the hardest, walking around the empty apartment.

it feels like there's nothing left.

XVII

he thinks about calling again, but decides against it.

he doesn't know what he would say when they'd put two years into their relationship and now it was gone.

XVIII

his eyes skim the contents of the refrigerator, but nothing looks good to him.

almost nothing has since that night.

XIX

he watches the rain as it slides down the window pane of the apartment.

he closes his eyes and listens instead.

XX

twenty-three days after—

XXI

he paces around his make-shift bedroom.

Blaine has left him exactly fourteen text messages and six voicemails on his cell phone.

XXII

he cries the day Blaine graduates, unable to keep it together any longer.

he knows he should be there, watching him.

XXIII

he ignores the voicemails from his father and his friends.

he doesn't want to inadvertently hear anything about the boy who broke his heart.

XXIV

thirty-two days after—

XXV

he licks his lips, tries to compose himself.

no one's visited the apartment since Blaine left him the last time.

XXVI

he opens the door and his composure slips away.

"What are you doing here?"

XXVII

Kurt watches as Blaine's eyes travel down his body.

"You've lost weight," he comments.

XXVIII

Kurt stares at the other boy.

his eyes are begging forgiveness.

XXIX

Blaine slides past Kurt and walks into the apartment, Kurt's eyes following him.

it almost feels like he had never left.

XXX

Kurt stands in the doorway.

he hardly dares to believe he came back.

XXXI

"I missed you," Blaine offers weakly.

Kurt nods slowly, unsure of how to respond.

XXXII

they sit across the table from one another.

there's only a month of tension between them but it feels like a lifetime.

XXXIII

"You've lost weight," Blaine repeats.

Kurt's eyes travel, looking at anything and everything but the man in front of him.

XXXIV

Kurt drums his fingers on the table.

he looks up at Blaine. "I missed you too, you know."

XXXV

Kurt glances upward, and their eyes meet for a second time in over a month.

XXXVI

"What are we supposed to do about this?" Blaine asks. Then—

"How are we supposed to fix this?"

XXXVII

Kurt purses his lips. "Why did you do it? What happened?"

Blaine's eyes wander. "Lonely," he mumbles. "Without you, I mean."

XXXVIII

Kurt nods, like this was what he'd been expecting.

"I've been here the whole time," he says.

XXXIX

"But I can't get out to New York whenever I need you," Blaine continues.

XL

Kurt looks up at him. "What's stopping you now? You already graduated."

XLI

"_You're_ stopping me," he responds. "I wanted to give you your space until we worked this out." He smiles. "I would've called more."

XLII

Kurt laughs lightly but it fades fast. "I really want to fix this, Blaine, but... I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you yet."

XLIII

Blaine takes a breath. "Okay," he whispers.

He sounds like he's on the verge of tears.

XLIV

Silence. Then—

"Should I go?" Blaine asks.

XLV

Kurt pauses, shakes his head, back and forth, back and forth.

"You don't have to."

XLVI

Blaine shrugs. "I think I'm going to go, Kurt. Take your time, okay?"

XLVII

Kurt nods. "Thank you."

XLVIII

Blaine smiles, genuinely this time. "It's okay," he repeats. "I know."

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